Mini-Vacation . . .

I am SO excited for my upcoming mini vacation to Saint George, Utah.  My foster daughter is graduating this June and wants to take a trip to celebrate.  In order for the trip to be authorized she needed supervision.  I volunteered my time to drive her down there and to supervise her activities.  It is really nice for me because my husband is able to take his days off on those that we are going so I won't need to take the little ones.  What makes it even more perfect is that we are picking up my best friend to tag along.  My stomach is filled with butterflies...the excitement feels like it is going to burst out of me at any time.  I truly hope for my own sake that I get to feeling better before this trip.

I have been battling with this weird ailment.  For more then a week now I have suffered through the most horrific stomach cramping and nausea that I have ever felt in my entire life.  The past two days have been so bad that I have actually been bed bound.  Every time I have stood up I am hit with horrific pain.  My husband has been as good as can be expected this last week.  It is very hard on him to gain perspective on my sickness (if you can really call it that).  My husband works very hard at his job.  He goes to work every day and puts in 100% so he can be the financial rock in our family.  I am extremely grateful for this.  The problem with how hard he works is that he doesn't have enough energy left to help with the kids or around the house.  As a stay-at-home mom I understand the requirements of my daily job, as you could call it.  I know that the majority of the responsibilities around the house and for the kids are my responsibility.  At the same time I get so much anxiety if I am ever sick or under the weather.  I feel that anytime I do "take time off" I am judged by disapproving glares and negative under-breath comments.  The constant toll of solely taking care of the house, two young kids, and two teenage foster daughters is starting to affect me physically.  I am SO tired at times that I feel like I can't keep moving forward.  I wish my husband would understand that just because he brings in the money does not mean he is exempt from any responsibilities around the house and with the kids.  I don't really expect a lot . . . help me to put away the clothes after I fold them, set the dinner table, change a diaper, or even just understanding the immense pressure I deal with everyday.  I sincerely am not complaining . . . at least not unproductively.  I truly just want to release my pressure valve of anxiety and stress.

That is why this mini-vacation could not come at a better time.  I am hoping that the excitement will help to curb all the stress and anxiety.