PATIENCE!!
Just like any other mom I have my good days and then there are my not so good days. I truly feel that good mother's are the most patient of us all. I have to remind myself some days that I am a good mother. With that recollection I can then remember that I am more capable of patience when I step back from the situation. Having said that . . . I understand that without resistance we can not grow as humans. Today was a great challenge for me. Any time there is a change in my medication it takes me a day or so to compensate. During that day or so I feel that I have taken a step backwards. I am fortunate to not be under the dirty haze of depression every day, so I am able to retain my grounding. One of the biggest lessons I have learned from my therapist is that we will always have "down" days and that is OK.
The fact that I am able to rationalize these thoughts and not get sucked down into the pit of depression is a huge blessing that I am grateful to Heavenly Father for. My children are beautiful spirits. Heavenly Father had a plan when he sent me my angels. My son came first because I wasn't prepared to have a strong willed child. My son is the sweetest boy you will ever meet. He is able and willing to give you his entire love and wants nothing in return. Three years later, when my daughter came, Heavenly Father knew that I needed a challenge. He knew it was time to step it up. My daughter, in the simplest terms, is a spitfire. You would think that this would be a great combination. I'm sure having two spitfires could be worse, but our situation is unique. My daughter came into this world trying to push her big brother around. I can remember a time when she was nine months or so and they were taking a bath together. I looked away to grab the soap . . . I'm talking maybe five seconds . . . and when I turn around my daughter is trying to sit on her big brother's head. My son has done remarkably well in the last two years since his sister was born. Up until the last six months or so he would just take it from his sister. These last six months have been a test for my patience in a very large way. My son has rightfully began to take back his own authority (as much as kids can have their own authority). This has caused my daughter to go into overdrive with her attitude, especially toward her brother. Today was a day of quizzes, tests, and final exams.
I am so grateful for the lessons I learn from my kids. After the initial "slap yourself in the head, I should have thought of that" moment, there is a sense of divine intervention that comes into play. If you are capable of looking at any situation with the right attitude and perspective, then you will be successful in life. I am not saying that is always the case with me, but I have learned to do this more often than not. As I step back and begin writing this blog I can see Heavenly Father's plan (truly just a small glimpse 'cause who really knows what his plan is for us). I can see the lesson I learned from today. Do I hope that I can learn the lesson and not pull all my hair out in the process?? Of course . . . but just as my blog is titled, A Wonderful Struggle. It's all about perspective. If I can see the lesson learned from the struggle, then I am capable of growth. Isn't that what we were sent to Earth to discover?? The growth we can accomplish as human beings . . . the growth back to our Heavenly Father??
I know this might sound alien to some of those out there. This blog is not meant to be a preaching ground for me, but instead a place that I can vocalize the feelings I have running through my mind. Sometimes I am unable to understand certain things until I begin talking or in this case writing. Sometimes I am also capable of great insight if I give myself the ability to vocalize my thoughts. Have you ever thought about something so hard that you didn't get anywhere with it anymore?? Then as soon as you talk to someone about it you come up with the answer all on your own?? That is what this blog is for me. The ability to talk to myself without being crazy.
No comments:
Post a Comment