Where to begin . . .

It is 5:38 in the AM and I can't go back to sleep.  My mind is racing with so many thoughts and ideas.  I'm not sure where to begin to go through them all.  I slept the best I have slept in a very long time.  I should be excited about that.  My life has taken a slight curve, and I am having some issues adjusting to the new altitude.  I don't mean to be cryptic, but I'm not sure how to vocalize some of these thoughts.  I am holding on to my faith in Heavenly Father's plan as tightly as I can.  I have to remember that whatever happens I do have a choice but Heavenly Father has a plan for me.  If I can keep hold of the rod of iron through this journey on the straight and narrow, then I know that everything will work out OK.  I am grateful for the skills Heavenly Father has blessed me with . . . he has given me the strength to grow as a mother.  I am so fortunate that I am able to offer my love and support to my foster daughter.  At the same time I am a little timid.  My parenting style had to quickly evolve from my five and two year old to a sixteen year old.  I am grateful that He blessed me with understanding.  Not just understanding of his plan, but also understanding of my own humanity.  I am a human and therefore I am imperfect.  I will make mistakes, but it is the choices I make because of those mistakes that keeps me on the right path.  I am prepared to make mistakes, and I am also prepared to learn from those mistakes.  I want to try and keep everything in the right perspective.  If I don't I know that my thoughts will grow out of control.  I don't know if this has come off as a soap box speech.  I don't want to come off that way.  This is my way of processing my own thoughts and opinions while keeping Heavenly Father in my forethought.  I understand that this might sound strange to some people.  Right now, my life needs to be grounded and I'm OK with finding Heavenly Father is all that I do.  This is my spiritual path.  It is difficult for me to not obsess over what people are thinking.  This is a great practice for my ability to have my own thoughts and ideas and not be concerned about what other people think.  I know that I am living my life as best as I can in the moment that I am living now.  Do I think that there are not improvements that can be made?  Of course there are, but right now I am doing what I can.  I have faith that Heavenly Father is happy with my progress.  I am slowly starting to be OK with me as well.  For such a long time I have felt that I am not worthy, but the truth is that those thoughts are not my own.  Heavenly Father wants me to feel loved and feel my worth based on my actions.  I can finally say that my actions are worth something great.  I am starting to love myself.  That might sound weird to some, but could hit home with others.  Sometimes, I feel like we put so much unneeded expectations on ourselves.  To be better, thinner, prettier, smarter, and simply put we sometimes never feel satisfied with who we are.  This doesn't happen with everyone, but it happens to me.  I am finally starting to be OK with who I am today, but also striving to better a little more each day.  No more apologies for the person I am.  I am here and I don't need to apologize for being myself. 

My mind has cleared.  I thank anyone who has read this . . .